The Real me

Blah, Blah, Blah…. our lunch break will be over again so i have no time to write and finish my emotional chuvachuchu… whatever you want to call it… I’m in a midst of recursive hallucination of dealing with my new job description… yeah you read it right…. I’m quite exhausted… i can’t figure it out… my work is ok… people are great and friendly except for some distractions….. toink…blah blah blah…. the so called spices of life…sometimes being simple might kill you…. if you’re  quite and weirdo…. people might think that you’re some kind of a freak… if you’re too loud and funny people might think that you’re crazy and in a way looser… If you’re smart and totally intelligent people might think you’re such a monster…. so what the hell am i supposed to do?? Yeah i admit i’m a kind of a software developer who has her own way of getting along with people and yes… that’s right i’m fashionista… so what’s the problem with that?? as long as im doing my job… duh…. if you’re a person whose somekinda vain and have a lot of stuff in your desk people might think that you’re such a poor lady who has no brain and there’s no room for you to learn some techie stuff…. HALER!!! where on a modern world… where fashion really exist…. and you can’t take that away from me… i can’t change my personality or the way i carry myself…. darn…. my time is running… harharharhar… have to pretend that im working really hard… hahahhaha…ssshhh… well just like to share my friend’s email below…

while reading that stuff… i remember my friend… he use to call me… "season ender" hahahhaha… well no comment… hahahaha… enjoy reading…. and also I put the lyrics of my favorite song Way back into Love (music and lyrics) kilig movie ever!

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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a

REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

=========================WAY BACK INTO LOVE============================

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking fro someone to shed some light
[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And If you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

If I had one wish boy,
I’d wish you next to me.
and it could be in summer, fall, or spring, boy,
’cause you make my heart sing.

I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you, oh baby, yeah.
‘Cause every day I’m not with you, I’m missing you like crazy.

I need for you to love me, (love me),
hold me, (hold me),
touch me, (touch me),
and deep in my soul, I’ll never let it go
’cause the love we share; no one compares to you.
I’ll never let you go (I’ll never let you go)
’cause I really love you so.
Oh I, I’ll never let you go. Oh, no. No no no no.

If you must know the truth boy, I’m nothing without you.
It’s funny how I know what people mean, boy, when it’s too good to be true.
Because you give me joy, good love, good times, such happiness, oh yeah.
And every day I thank the lord for you.
I feel so glad.

I need for you to love me, (love me),
hold me, (hold me),
touch me,
and deep in my soul, I’ll never let it go
’cause the love we share; no one compares to you.
I’ll never let you go (I’ll never let you go)
’cause I really love you so.
Oh I, I’ll never let you go. Oh, no. No no no no.

If you only knew what you really do and never have no one that does it quite
like you do.
You could spend half a lifetime trying to find one like you.
That’s why I am so glad I found you.
I wished upon a star and it came true.

I made a need for you. (love me),
hold me, (hold me),
touch me, (touch me),
and deep in my soul, I’ll never let it go.
‘Cause the love we share; no one compares to you.
I’ll never let you go. ‘Cause I really love you so.
No I, I’ll never let you go. No no. Oooohh

"What if the person you love has no idea…how much you wanted to
see him… to be with him every single day …is it ok to forget him??
or is it ok to tolerate the pain? whatever it is… darn i hate
it…."  I’m not expert in terms of expressing thoughts and emotions…
but this time… i don’t know why im writing this…. You know who you
are… i miss you maybe in the right time…. or maybe never…..see
you in my dreams… I don’t want to hope forever…. I don’t believe in
destiny…. it’s us who creates our destiny and our choice… so it is
our choice to whom we want to open our heart and to whom we fall in
love with… It’s not magic nor soul mate nor destiny….. It’s our
choice.. we chose the one we want to love and spend the rest of our
life with according to the book that ive had read…. Thinking it over
and over again… that principle is true… it is still our choice….
to be happy… to be sad… to fall inlove… to fall out of love…..
whatever happens in our life.. it has something to do with the way we
see things… with the way we chose to live…. and with the way we act
to the things that we had chosen…. whether to stay from it… or stay
away with that….

In the end… it’s ourself…who can be accountable with our lives…. because its your "CHOICE" not everybody elses choice…..

Grabe ilang araw na ding hindi ko nabisita ang friendster… anyway wala namang bago sa kin except for my bugoy… i thought i had everything na… i thought im happy pero ngayon hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito… hehehehe anyway laging busy sa work… my weekend is great… natulog maghapon sa bahay hang-over ng gimik last friday… bday ng dear friend ko si garry… sunday is not that great… my ineexpect akong tao pero wala eh.. ganon talaga… life is like that… mahirap magexpect sa mga taong naging bahagi ng buhay mo…. ung tipong akala mo sasaya ka pero hindi naman…. anyway just expressing my thought on this matter… tapos un… pagdating ko ng bahay sunday evening… bumili ako ng valentines card for my mom and my dear friend… wala lang naisip ko lang kasi na hindi lang naman ung mga special someone like bf and gf ang may karapatan para icelebrate ang valentines day… now im sounds creepy…. and scary… hahahhaha anyway… i had to write some drama stuff for my mom’s card… i end up like a real writer… expressing my thoughts and emotions… biglang hey… hindi ito telenovela noh.. hahahha pagtingin ko sa card… puno na… which is a good thing hahahaha.. hindi ko namalayan mahaba na rin pala naisulat ko… then… another one for my friend… pagtapos nun.. hindi pa rin ako inaantok… i open bugoy… and review for my work tomorrow… tapos un in a while nakinig ng music and again im drowning in my self realization… is this the life i really wanted??? why im feeling this way…. why is there an empty space??

the questions were left unanswered…. here i am spending my break in front of my monitor… writing again….

Sino ba ko pag nagsusulat ako??  sa ngayon ok nga ba ko???