Last
night I don’t know why I’m confessing all the pain and sorrow of my life to my
mom…. For me it’s not that normal …because I’m old enough and besides I don’t
want my mom to worry for my situation… But tears continuously flow in my eyes….
And then I realized that I really need someone to talked to…someone I can
depend on… someone who will reminds me how beautiful life it is…. My mom always cheer me up… she always give me
beautiful insights on how to fight…and win the battlefield of my life… as I
looked at her all I can see is a strong woman who doesn’t care what other
people think about her… all she care about is her life living in the will of
our Lord… She always told me that life
is full of mystery…. That life is always a choice… “we are all pilots… we take the route we want to take but it is up to
us on how we are going to control the plane… whether we will take our
passengers to the right destination at the right time and in a safe manner….” I
hate her for comforting me…you know why?? Because it makes me feel weak….
Weaker than any other person…. There’s no comforting arms in the world… except
for my mothers embrace…. She’s the one who can calm me down… and who can cheer
me up…. As always my mom is the best that I ever had,,,,
Aside
from my mom there is one person that helped me, realized that life is worth
living and life is not that easy to live with… We must struggle and we must
always be strong.. We must learn how to play the dangerous game of life no
matter what… I know I might sound like a drama queen in here but the thing is
I’m just expressing myself to the mere reality of life…
Ok
ooopppss… drama queen is over… change topic….
Last
week is quite an exhausted week for me, in any aspect whether it is
work…love….friendship….family…. hahahaha… but the good thing is im still here
still living in this crazy world where fantasy truly exist… here in
exist….hahahha isn’t amazing….
I
had a tough schedule but even though I’m working on a night shift I make sure
that I never forget all the special persons in my life… I miss my barkada as a
matter of fact I go to office as early as I can just to catch up with my
barkada bonding moments ever… aside from my dear friends… of course I will
never forget to keep in touch with curlytheng hahahaha… although were both busy
but the thing is we can still have a short period of time to check each buddy….
Hahhaha.. by the way thanks for always making my day although I’m quite sad
this past few days… but your always there to cheer me up and I know we feel the
same way either… hahahhaa (having mood swings…(sometimes sad…sometimes
senti…sometimes loka ever..sometimes…mukhang ngess ngu…sometimes maraming
sometimes… hahahha))… Nice to know you more…
Today’s
entry—
Uhm
I had a few chocolate bars in my table and I kept on staring to them as if
their talking to me… then I realized that I’m already in the office… wake up
Ley.. the other side of me is yielding me… then the other one is whispering…
Ley this is the reality of life… get your lap top and start working… then
suddenly somebody leave this Fitness First pamphlet in my table and ohh… I
started thinking…. Who will leave this pamphlet in my table… uhu… ok fine I
know I’m fat I understand what your talking about… hahahahha then I smiled…and
took the pamphlet… uhm a part of me is saying maybe you should try to work on
it again… uhm… let me see….
Then,
after a couple of minutes we had a friendly conversation of my friends while
their eating their snack… hahahha this time I’m not eating…uhm I remember again
that pamphlet… well after that I started
to work again…and then suddenly curlytheng pop me a message wow.. again he
makes my day… I started to smile then again smile I remember the times we had
hahahha were both funny…. Then time to work again… still working…
Why
having you is completely normal??? Uhm
this phrase really amaze me…I don’t know why such things are happening in my
life and I must admit that in every single moment of it I’m sure that it‘s 100%
worth keeping for…
Maybe
we might meet a few wrong persons, we
might get hurt… we might stumble and fall several times…we might had bad times…
but the thing is we should be thankful enough because we might be able to learn
every life’s lesson….
I
don’t believe in luck or good luck…. What I do believe is everything that’s
happening in my life has a purpose…. There’s no means of accident instead all
things happen because it is meant to happen otherwise I’m not the person that I
used to be right now if bad things doesn’t occur in my life…
I’m
in the middle of hallucination can somebody try to wake me… and push me closely
in your arms…. Where in I can dwell my soul to become part of yours…..Don’t
pull me….just look me in the eyes…and don’t ever dare to leave me….
Signing
on
–Tormented
soul-
